


it's like i wrote every note (with my own fingers)

by jacksmannequin



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Drinking, Drunk Texting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, M/M, Shane is a music nerd and he's definitely not based off me, lots of music references but hey there's a playlist, pls listen to it, ryan is very quick to grasp the situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 00:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15569934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksmannequin/pseuds/jacksmannequin
Summary: In which Ryan asks Shane for a playlist and Shane sends him a love letter instead.





	it's like i wrote every note (with my own fingers)

**Author's Note:**

> inspiration and title for this is from the mixed tape by jack's mannequin.
> 
> [here's the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/theacademyisnot/playlist/7bdE838Fss9DIQ6RTCzD9J) shane sends to ryan.  
> im not a native speaker and this is my first work in this fandom despite the fact i've been lurking here for almost a year, so please if you find any mistakes point them out to me! also i wrote this at 3am and since i was just so happy because this is the first thing i manage to finish in over a year i posted it anyway. sorry.

Shane likes music. He likes curating playlists, has them all ordered by theme on his Spotify account, makes sure every song flows perfectly into the next and religiously listens to everything the way it was meant to be listened to, with the shuffle option turned off.

He's good at it: he knows it and everyone in the office knows it, which means they all turn to him when they're in need of a collection of slow tunes, some recommendations, or workout songs. He always fulfills every request, to the point he has a special folder titled _crap for other people_. He has six different mixes for Steven alone.

Shane also likes Ryan, and when the two things collide it's always a bit of a mess. He has roughly seventeen playlists dedicated to him, all strictly private and not shown on his profile, and they're all corny. He makes a point of keeping them hidden, sheltered and away from all human eyes that aren't his own.

Much to Shane's awkwardness, Ryan likes music too, and he's pretty much Shane's first customer when it comes to playlists. And he hates it, because keeping himself in check is fucking exhausting when all he wants is to put together some John Mayer songs, name the mix _Ryan can you please kiss me #3_ and for it to mean _something_. But he can't, and he won't, because Ryan will hate him and avoid him and everything would be awkward and he'd rather drop his iPod in a radioactive pool than seeing that happen.

He pushes up his glasses on his nose, eyes focused on the screen and the video he's editing for _Ruining History_. Someone taps him on the shoulder, causing him to pause what he's doing and turn around on his chair, taking his headphones off as he frowns. However, his expression swiftly changes as soon as he identifies that someone as Ryan and really, he tries not to be that obvious with his extra cheery grins, but he can't help it, so he stopped bothering.

“Hey man, do you have a second?” Ryan asks him, matching his smile with one of his own. Shane's heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, sure, what's up?” he asks back with his usual joking tone. If it sounds a bit strained, Ryan doesn't point it out.

“So, I've been trying to get into post-rock for a while and I know you're very into it as a genre, so...” Ryan trails off, doing weird gestures with his hands. Shane looks at him. Ryan drops his hands and sighs. “Can you please make me a playlist - and before you say anything,” he interjects before Shane can even open his mouth, “I know it's the fourth playlist I've asked you this month but I've had more free time than usual lately and if I don't do it now then I'll never do it because every song is longer than 15 minutes and they're all crazy and I don't have all this time to waste when I'm working.” He sighs again. “Sorry.”

Shane tries not to laugh, he really does, but his fucking face is priceless and he can't help it, so he does. Ryan glares at him, and for a moment Shane feels lighter than usual, but then he calms down and with it comes the realization he's gonna have to do it, isn't he, because he's a good friend. And good friends give each other music recommendations, send each other indie memes from Reddit, share a collaborative playlist between them, and most importantly don't have seventeen mixes of love songs dedicated to their best friend.

He tries to ignore the heavy feeling in his chest. “Yeah, sure, of course I'll do it.”

Ryan's face lights up and Shane wants to die a little. “Thanks man, I appreciate it. And no doom metal!” he exclaims with a smile and gives Shane a light pat on his shoulder, turning away from him to get back to whatever he was doing before.

“It was just one time!” Shane yells back. When he gets a middle finger in return, he exhales a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

 _Damn it,_ he thought.

***

_playlist created at 2:23pm: post-rock mix for ryan!_

_summer by brockhampton was added_  
_start a riot by banners was added_  
_your body is a wonderland by john mayer was added_

_..._

_playlist deleted at 2:26pm_

***

So maybe he doesn't really delete it. Maybe he goes to his settings, and he selects _restore playlist_. And maybe he doesn't even change the title. He'll do it later, when he makes a list that actually has what Ryan asked for in it. Maybe. He doesn't really know what he's doing but as he adds a Sufjan Stevens song to it, he lets himself think it'll be okay.

***

 _[03:25am] shane: hey   ry_  
_[03:25am] shane: sorry i kmow it's late but im drunk and i finisjed your post eock thing_  
_[03:26am] shane: i didnt put any doom  metal in itg_  
_[03:28am] shane: dont let ANYONE tell you . That explosions in thw Sky arent good. if you csnt handle some crescendos thrn what the fukc are yo EGEN_  
_[03:29am] shane: and._  
_[03:36am] shane: srry i jsut threw up. i think._  
_[03:36am] shane: gnigght_

_..._

_[04:03am] shane: oh ??rifht_  
_[04:05am] shane: [_ ** _link_** _: check out post-rock mix for ryan! by shane.madej on spotify! ; includes brockhampton, john mayer and jack's mannequin]_

***

Shane wakes up with a pounding headache and a disgusting taste in his mouth. He blinks his eyes open and stretches his arms and legs, which he notes with extreme discomfort are still wrapped in his jeans. He must have fallen asleep with his clothes still on. For a second, he panics thinking he's overslept and missed work or something, but significantly calms down when he glances at the clock on his nightstand and sees a _7:10am_ staring back at him. He's honestly amazed he managed to wake up even if he feels like someone ran him over with a truck.

He goes to the kitchen to take some aspirin and down three glasses of water one after another. As he sits down at his table and notices an empty bottle of what appears to have been vodka, everything suddenly comes crashing back in his mind.

He recalls sitting down on his couch with the bottle in one hand and his phone in the other, and adding songs to a playlist while taking a swig of booze every two minutes. He remembers texting Ryan. Sending him a link — _shit_.

 _Shit shit shit shit_.

He hurries back to his bedroom, water forgotten in the kitchen, and hastily grabs his phone, unlocking it while praying he didn't do what he's sure he did.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath as he pulls up his chat with Ryan. “Please.”

His eyes quickly scan the texts, panic rising in his stomach. What the fuck did he send him, just —

He opens the link with shaky hands and when it redirects him to the playlist with the innocent name he  almost sighs in relief, but then he looks at what's in it and when he sees a song by Father John Misty staring back at him he feels his soul leaving his body.

 _He's fucked_.

***

In a rush of something akin to both adrenaline and pure terror, Shane gets dressed, brushes his teeth and drives to work like a maniac, managing to step into the office ten minutes earlier. He frantically looks around and sure enough, it's mostly empty, save for a girl whose name he doesn't even remember at the coffee machine and — and Ryan, sitting at Shane's desk.

Just as he wishes the ground could open up and swallow him whole, Ryan looks up and sees him, fixing him with a smile. Shane wants to die.

He greets him back with something that comes out as more of a grimace than anything else and notices with horror Ryan's wearing headphones. And they're plugged into his phone.

 _Please tell me he's not listening to that_ , he repeats in his head, halfway through a mantra and a prayer to whoever is willing to help him right now, as he makes his way to his desk ready for the most embarrassing explanation of his life. He steals a glance at Ryan's phone and sees what he recognizes as the last song of the playlist. The playlist full of love songs _he_ evidently dedicated to Ryan. God.

“I can explain —” Ryan stands up and takes off his headphones, standing up right in front of Shane, who shuts up.

“How long?” Ryan asks him out of the blue with a neutral expression.

“How long what?” Shane tries to joke and feign ignorance, even though he knows perfectly what Ryan is asking.

“You know _what_.” He points at the space between them. “This. How long.”

Shane holds his breath for a second. “I don't —”

Ryan rolls his eyes and closes the distance between them, swallowing the rest of the other man's sentence.

Shane's brain stops working and all he can think is _Ryan is kissing me_ and, _his lips are soft_ and _Ryan, Ryan, Ryan_ —

Before Shane can muster up the courage and get his brain back to work to kiss him back properly, Ryan pulls back, letting a small smile spread on his lips. Shane's legs feel like melted pudding and his face is on fire.

“So, how long?” Ryan asks again, and Shane replies, dumbfounded, ”A while. A year. Maybe more.”

Ryan's eyes widen. He suddenly looks like he realized something and he pulls out his phone, launching his music app and handing it to Shane.

“Look at the playlists.”

Shane does, and the first thing he sees is twenty mixes all with the same name on it. He sucks in a ragged breath and stares at him. ”You...”

“Yeah.”

Shane slides his phone on the desk and cups Ryan's face with both of his hands, kissing him again and closing his eyes when he feels the other man kiss him back with a smile, and they kiss until both their lips are red.

“I can't believe I had to find out because you sent me the wrong fucking playlist while drunk,” Ryan tells him, still smiling, his face still close to Shane's.

“I can't believe you have Tim McGraw songs in playlists with my name on it,” Shane says back, but there's no bite to it.

Ryan does his full body laugh, and Shane feels it shake the both of them in their embrace. His brain still isn't working.

“Shut the fuck up, Shane.”

And Shane does.

**Author's Note:**

> every song/artist referenced in the story is in the playlist I linked above, except for explosions in the sky, who are a post rock band. (shameless self promo: check out my [post-rock themed playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/theacademyisnot/playlist/2ZoXOPkULRiipobeOt0o03?si=b26HsIgnS5eegzLbl8PkDA) if you're into long ass songs with lots of drums.)


End file.
